Writer beautifully trolls Leavers with comic description of Brexit day
The official date for Britain’s exit from the EU is approaching. Predictions of what awaits the country vary. They range from a no-deal scenario that evidence suggests will damage the UK to a less disastrous but equally pointless soft Brexit.
Leavers are known for denying facts that do not support their vision of the future. To highlight these delusions, an anonymous author has written a description of March 29th from a Leaver perspective. It is a beautiful image.
The Vision
29th March 2019 is going to be amazing. I am going to wake up in my Union Jack jim-jams to the sound of a squadron of Spitfires racing overhead and leaving a trail of hot buttered crumpets behind them.
I will run to the corner shop past all the British children who are laughing and squealing with excitement as they make a beautiful statue of the queen out of happy wriggling bulldog puppies with two corgis for her eyebrows.
Bunting flutters everywhere and the man from the betting shop steps into the street. Guess what. England just won the World Cup and The Ashes and The Grand National and here is the best bit. Boris put a bet on it for everyone. You are all millionaires.
The red arrows fly overhead dropping fish and chips as I walk into the corner shop, get my morning paper and go to the counter. How much please. I say to the Asian lad there. 1 pence, everything in the whole shop now costs just 1p. He laughs. Leave it on the counter, I am off back to Pakistan. We all are.
And he is right. Outside in the streets jolly old Nigel Farage is leading a huge crowd of happy foreigners. Turks, Poles, Romanians, Syrians. There is even a few English people with heavy suntans mixed up in there. Nigel is playing Rule Britannia on a long pipe, rather like the pipe that takes the gas into your oven, and they are all following and smiling and talking foreign, bless them.
The Reality
Just then Boris flies overhead in a Concorde made of Bank of England gold. Don’t worry. He laughs. I have cut out all the bits the French made. With that he crashes into the ground at 1200 miles an hour, along with the economy, the country and all the dozy nostalgic foreigner-fearing fuckwits who fell for his bullshit.
It’s fantastic, hopefully it will be part of a history lesson in decades to come illustrating how we got into this mess.???
TWAT
I guess that just about sums your understanding of anything Gary. Articulate, insightful and carefully thought out. Glad you’re playing your part in making Britain Great again. With people like you, how could it not be great.
I think he was just signing his post, DJFramboise! :-)
Unlikely, Needra, the schools will have shut as no one will have the income to keep them open.
Don’t know whether to laugh or cry
RAGE, RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT!!
The thought of all British Pakistanis shutting up shop and leaving is hilarious. And I wouldn’t blame them.
Keep the £ British!
In a world class act of prevention my parents left Brexit Britain 49 years ago and saved me from all this crap.
Remoaners are childish, spiteful and poor losers.
Incorrect. Statistically quitters are more childish and spiteful (Just ask them their motivations for voting out…). However, all the UK will be poorer and lose as a result of Brexshit.
You just proved it again: Brexshitters are morons-Nought up top but huuuuuuuge gobs!
…says the person who uses the term ‘remoaner’.
And intelligent, caring, unselfish , generous , thoughtful, altruistic, educated, expert in their field, capable of sorting facts from lies etc etc
Twat.
Its not a fucking competition “poor losers”. Its about crashing our economy!
At least we’re not cunts.
Cunt
Oh dear Julie
but you are the one calling them names, you sound angry, cheer up
If it’s being called Brexit day, can we shorten it to Bday – sounds remarkably like a thing you wash your arse in.
Incorrect. Statistically quitters are more childish and spiteful (Just ask them their motivations for voting out…). However, all the UK will be poorer and lose as a result of Brexshit.
Brilliant! It cheers up a dark time.
It wouldn’t surprise me if leavers thought that people from Pakistan and such are European
Maybe farage and Moogy will announce they are giving all the money they made betting on the pound to crash to the brexiteers
Such are the dangers of naivety and prejudice chasing chimeras
Manipulated by elites, who in contrast, think globally
with manifold strategic options, they protect, nay multiply, their wealth via Brexit
Brexit Britain……making it miniscule
for the many
…..brokering it big-time for the wealthy
Take back control of their dregs and crumbs
Secure the borders of that skewered tiny isle
Alas, poor Britannia, I knew her once- her ratios,
She’s shrinking to a solitary shrimp on the global trade barbeque.
Bon appetit!