Getting down with start-ups: 12 signs you’re taking Slush a bit too seriously

This guy might be overdoing it
The way the Slush startup conference brings capital and mindshare to the Helsinki tech startup scene is well established and undisputable. As someone who works for Finnish tech companies, I have nothing but praise for how Slush mixes geeks with business people in different stages of their careers. If you’re into business, you should attend and just feel the magic of Finnish people turning talkative and creative.

At Ink Tank, we’re strictly anti Jante law, which is to say we don’t subscribe to the old Nordic small-town norm that believing in yourself is next to a deadly sin. However, at some point, everything becomes a cliche. For the past couple of years, the media circus around Slush has turned annoying enough to warrant a friendly slap every now and then.

So, we’ll help you navigate the awesomeness of Slush with a guide that points out just how to know you’ve been slurping a bit too much of that sweet, refreshing tech buzz Kool-Aid.


1. You share photos of your Slush ticket on social media

Indian style portrait selfie



2. You find yourself slipping over-excited words like innovation, growth and opportunity into your daily vocabulary

Creepy puppet vomiting hard candy



3. You totally buy into the idea Microsoft, IBM, PwC, Nordea, Tieto etc. are refurbishing themselves as edgy, agile and bootstrapping startups

Jon Hamm nodding and smiling


4. You’ve Airbnb’d your flat and slept on the kitchen floor to be able to afford Slush tickets

Monkeyface broke quote from Hitchcock's movie Suspicion


5. Yet, you clap your hands unirononically when middle-aged Finnish politicians blow the trickle-down economics dog whistle in Slush keynote speeches

Enthusiastic applause


6. You’re pressuring “assets” in the hospitality industry for intel on where Slush speakers and investors are staying

Grand Budapest Hotel: looking for Martin at the Ritz Imperial


7. You’ve made Twitter lists for stalking said speakers and investors

Live-action vintage spider man lurking in the ceiling




8. You find yourself asking where a serious business person can get hold of some goddamned cocaine

Alien doing cocaine


9. You’ve made up a fake business to pitch at Slush

Silicon Velley nipalert


10. You’ve gone through five iterations of new business cards

American Psycho business card scene



11. You’re buying spy gear to better pick up conversations on where to find VIP parties

Eye pancakes, animation by Justin Gammon


12. And you’re going to the best VIP afterparty no matter how tired you are

Rick and Morty Kronenberg monsters
Have more examples of how Slush crazed people might behave a bit silly? Let us know in the comments below!

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Title image credit: Slush/Petri Anttila.

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