Revealed: The 9 levels of Leaver expectations about Brexit

As the idiocy of Brexit grows ever clearer by the day, it seems that the expectations of Leavers grow ever more diminished. Inspired by a fantastically fun tweet by David Schneider, we’ve detailed how reality is making their Brexit utopia bleaker and bleaker. Let’s hope, for everyone’s sake, sanity prevails before level 6.

Level 1

Everything is going to be wonderful. We’ll be richer, the NHS will get £350m a week more money, we’ll go back to Imperial measurements and the streets will be permanently swathed in Union Jack bunting.

Level 2

We’re going to be richer eventually. It just might take a few years, that’s all. It will all be worth it in the end.

Level 3

I don’t care if we’re poorer. Money isn’t everything. As long as we have our sovereignty back. Oh and fishing rights, of course.

Level 4

I don’t care if we have to eat poisoned chickens. That’s the price you pay for being a global trading power. Chlorine can’t be that bad for you anyway. We use it to clean kitchens, for god’s sake.

Level 5

I don’t care if my family lose their jobs. Jobs aren’t everything. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices. Kids of today have no idea how hard it was for us.

Level 6

I don’t care if there are no functioning hospitals, farms, cafes, banks, air flights, social care, etc. Who needs society to function when you have sovereignty.

Level 7

I’m happy we now have the Hunger Games. It helps to showcase the British bulldog spirit to the world.

Level 8

I’m happy we can only stay alive by eating our own young. At least we have sovereignty now. And only the Danes, Swedes, Norwegians, French and Spain get to fish in our waters.

Level 9

I’m happy we now live in a post-apocalyptic wasteland where only a handful of survivors live on in Boris Johnson’s basement. We’ve certainly shown those Eurocrats and know-it-all experts that we’re not cowed by Project Fear.

10 replies

  1. I’d like to laugh at this list but I’m afraid I might know a couple of people who would go all the way to the bottom of that list and still not realise….

  2. The biggest worry is that the media are feeding the Brexit foot-soldiers on a diet of hatred and intolerance for the EU.
    ‘Normal’ Brexit supporters seem to be keeping their heads down. Nobody challenges the negativity.
    The EU will have a jingoistic, intolerant, hateful neighbour which is believing that everything bad about Brexit is down solely to the actions of the EU.
    Britain will be as resentful as post-Versailles Germany.

  3. We’ll all be richer eventually… When 10 years from now when the triple lockers have dwindled & the rest of the population is poor as church mice they’ll be a Brexsneerer ‘road to damascus’ conversion to the fact we need to rejoin the EU!!!

  4. I deeply resent the Brexiteers’ misappropriation of the Union Flag (Level 1). I have some lovely cushions, tea cosies, scarves etc that I no longer feel I can use in case someone takes me for a brainless jingoistic racist. ?

  5. If it wasn’t for the fact we’re all going to get fucked, it would be quite fun to watch their face when reality dawns- But maybe they’re so deluded they never will

  6. Not to mention Level 10 and 10a
    In the end no one gets out of this world alive [10]
    You came into this world with nothing, and you leave this world with nothing. What have you lost? nothing. [10a]
    The farmer takes good care of his livestock, but when the time comes. He will slaughter them! You my friends [that includes me] are not the farmer. Accept it.

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