As the idiocy of Brexit grows ever clearer by the day, it seems that the expectations of Leavers grow ever more diminished. Inspired by a fantastically fun tweet by David Schneider, we’ve detailed how reality is making their Brexit utopia bleaker and bleaker. Let’s hope, for everyone’s sake, sanity prevails before level 6.
Everything is going to be wonderful. We’ll be richer, the NHS will get £350m a week more money, we’ll go back to Imperial measurements and the streets will be permanently swathed in Union Jack bunting.
We’re going to be richer eventually. It just might take a few years, that’s all. It will all be worth it in the end.
I don’t care if we’re poorer. Money isn’t everything. As long as we have our sovereignty back. Oh and fishing rights, of course.
I don’t care if we have to eat poisoned chickens. That’s the price you pay for being a global trading power. Chlorine can’t be that bad for you anyway. We use it to clean kitchens, for god’s sake.
I don’t care if my family lose their jobs. Jobs aren’t everything. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices. Kids of today have no idea how hard it was for us.
I don’t care if there are no functioning hospitals, farms, cafes, banks, air flights, social care, etc. Who needs society to function when you have sovereignty.
I’m happy we now have the Hunger Games. It helps to showcase the British bulldog spirit to the world.
I’m happy we can only stay alive by eating our own young. At least we have sovereignty now. And only the Danes, Swedes, Norwegians, French and Spain get to fish in our waters.
I’m happy we now live in a post-apocalyptic wasteland where only a handful of survivors live on in Boris Johnson’s basement. We’ve certainly shown those Eurocrats and know-it-all experts that we’re not cowed by Project Fear.