Finnish made famous: magnificent mentions of Finland throughout Tinseltown
Finland does not get many lines in Hollywood. When it does, they tend to land somewhere between “cold” and “possibly fictional” — which is exactly what makes them worth collecting.
Blade Runner 2049 gave the language an unusually large stage, with Finnish spoken on screen and Finnish actress Krista Kosonen in the cast. That set us off hunting down every other time Finland or the Finnish language has turned up in a film or a television show. Here they are, with the clips.
Quiz · Very Finnish Problems
Ten questions in. Ten free chapters out.
Hollywood keeps getting Finland wrong. How would you do?
What your favourite TV characters think about Finland
Television’s view of Finland is remarkably consistent: cold, baffling, and full of people who would rather not talk to you.
Fargo
A series set among the Nordic-descended Midwest was always going to arrive here eventually.
“Buddy of mine says they swear by this stuff in Finland.”
“Well, they’re a bunch of sex-crazed alcoholics, so they should know, right?”
Gilmore Girls
Emily Gilmore goes to Helsinki and comes back with a review.
Rory: “Grandma. We were just talking about you. How are you? How’s Helsinki?”
Emily: “Cold. Unaccommodating. A population of walking dead.”
Veep
In a show entirely about diplomacy, Dan’s verdict on the Finnish capital is the least diplomatic thing in it.
“I’m sorry that I ever set foot in that fucking fish-eating, indie-film fucking hellhole.”
Fringe
Walter Bishop invents a Finnish proverb, and frankly it is better than most of the real ones.
“As they say in Finland, there’s more than one way to roast a reindeer.”
How I Met Your Mother
Ted discovers where his public humiliation went viral.
“So now I seem like a total train wreck to all my old high school friends. And a bunch of people in Finland. The auto-tune thing got kind of big over there.”
The one Hollywood reference that goes the other way
May the Sisu Be With You
Finland has spent decades being the punchline in other people’s films. This is the return volley.
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Four times Hollywood had a go at the Finnish language
Getting Finnish right on screen is difficult. Getting it wrong appears to be irresistible.
Charlie’s Angels
Mid-negotiation about a rival firm’s mainframe, two of the Angels switch into Finnish so the man in the room cannot follow. Subtitled, what they are actually discussing is not the mainframe at all — “Is there something going on between you and Knox?” “Of course not. Customer relations are a really bad idea.” Finnish as a private channel, which is a use every Finn abroad will recognise.
The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon has disinfected the kitchen and the bathroom, his computer is still grinding through an operating system install, and he has run out of things to do. So he learns Finnish. When the knock comes he answers the door with sisään — come in — and is enormously pleased with himself.
The Hudsucker Proxy
The Coens introduce a shareholder named Thorstenson Finlandson, and one of the executives cannot resist mentioning that he studied a little Finnish at high school. He then attempts to prove it. He is, by his own admission, rusty, and the room moves swiftly on.
Archer
Archer tries out his Finnish on a room of complete strangers, then helpfully translates for everyone: “I was asking if this was the Finnish skydiving club, which judging by your response I assume it is not.” The confidence is entirely intact. The Finnish is not.
The word none of them managed
PRKL
Four scripts had a go at Finnish and not one of them reached for the word every Finn actually uses. Vowels optional.
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Other magnificent mentions of Finland
Beyond the language itself, Finland turns up as a punchline, a destination and, in one case, a word shouted for no discernible reason at all.
Community
Finland surfaces somewhere in Community’s wall-to-wall reference habit. Blink and you will miss it, which is true of roughly half that show.
Conan O’Brien drinks Lapin Kulta
Conan has a long and genuinely affectionate history with Finland, having spent much of the mid-2000s pointing out his resemblance to then-president Tarja Halonen, and eventually flying over to see the place. Here he takes on a bottle of Lapin Kulta.
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Isla Fisher’s character pads her CV with “fluent in Finnish”, on the reasoning that everyone finishes a résumé with one small lie. There is a bonus gag about her surname, Bloomwood, having originally had lines through the O’s.
Seinfeld
Kramer wants Jerry’s apartment, so he is talking up a flat Jerry has not seen. Told the place is barely liveable, he explains that for him it would still be a promotion: “It’s like moving from Iceland to Finland.”
The Simpsons
Springfield’s interpretation of Finnish folk dancing, preserved for posterity in a file format very nearly as old as the joke.
SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick simply yells “Finland!” No one has ever satisfactorily explained why, and Finns long ago stopped asking.
Saturday Night Live
SNL builds a whole sketch around a Finnish talk show, on the working assumption that the premise will do most of the heavy lifting. It largely does.
Veep goes to Helsinki
The Finnish delegation presents its guests with a gift: a clock decorated with famous Finnish birds, which turn out to be Angry Birds, offered up as evidence of Finland’s standing as a pioneer of software innovation. It is an uncomfortably accurate piece of writing.
Our best seller, and the hardest word to subtitle
No niin
Two syllables that can mean hello, goodbye, well then, calm down, and I am leaving now. No screenwriter has ever got near it.
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Edited by Michele Lawrence.
For more Finnish culture, see our guide to Kallio, Helsinki, or the 7 Finnish sayings about sauna that tell you everything you need to know.
“As they say in Finland, there’s more than one way to roast a reindeer.”
Bullshit. We don’t have any phrase of that kind.
What should have excited them and not in a good way was when “Swordfish” had a Finnish hacker and the Finnish consul speaking German. What? They couldn’t find two Finnish speaking actors in all of LA?
Lol; epic list!! Charlies Angel’s pronunciation is rubbish!! Love to know the story line the got them speaking Finnish
Drew Barrymore’s BFF Nancy Juvonen did this.
Just for fun, I presume.
Amazed Finnish has been used so many time and that 99% pronunciation is always sooooo crap :)
There is this person in Assassin’s Creed games called Otso Berg. :) modern day Templar working for Abstergo. We see him in some games like Rogue and he is mentioned in some of the books.
Towards the end of Star Trek IV the whalers speak Finnish. With heavy accents, though.
Remember the movie Swordfish? There was a scene with the “Finnish” hacker Axl “Totally Not Linus” Torvalds being interrogated by another “Finn” and they spoke German with each other?
Don’t forget movies with Nokia phones like, the Saint, Matrix, Armageddon…
In the new Solo movie Daenerys uses “teräs käsi” in a fight. Obviously, she pronounces the name completely wrong but it still remotely resembles Finnish.
A few of Geena Davis’ movies mention Finland or have Finnish flags in them.
Finland, Finland, Finland has it all!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baHsoEAAMZU
Die hard 1 had Helsinki mentioned.
Die hard 2 was directed by finnish Renny Harlin and it had Finlandia theme playing.
There was also famous finnish boxer in Die hard 3.
The Jackal had few scenes filmed in Finland.
28 days later had some finnish spoken at very end by soldiers.
Die hard mentioned helsinki at one point.
Die hard 2 was directed by finnish Renny Harlin and it had finlandia song playing.
All Renny Harlin films have some sort of finnish easter egg in them.
Die hard 3 had famous finnish boxer as one fake police.
The Jackal had few scenes filmed in Finland.
28 days later had some finnish spoken by the soldiers at very end.
Swordfish had me thinking the same thing — you couldn’t find TWO Finnish actors in California to play those roles?!?
Mrs Oliver in Poirot films has a Finnish detective in her books. Also in many spy films about the period of cold war have the spies meeting in Helsinki, just like they really did.
If anyone in a movie speaks Finnish 9 out of 10 Finns will correct the pronunciation.