Two and a half years on and Brexit is more farcical than ever. As every day passes, the rest of the world continues to watch in bemusement as the British, people formerly known for their stoic pragmatism, engage in an epic episode of national self-harm based largely on delusions of grandeur, nostalgia for days past and barely concealed mistrust of ‘Johnny Foreigner.’
Yet, despite the car crash currently unfolding, Brits still excel at one of their most positive national characteristics. Bitingly dark and self-deprecating humour. To see this in full force, enjoy Hugo Rifkind, son of a conservative politician and columnist of The Times, hilariously comparing Brexit to a ‘Cheese Submarine.’ in what has to be the best analogy of the year
More cheese, until we all get cheesed off
Brexiteers want to have their cheese submarine and eat it, claiming they could build a submarine from their shit, then instead of it being a shit cheese submarine, it would become a cheese shit submarine.
Ridiculous?
No more ridiculous than Brexit!
MPs need to urgently revoke Article 50, thus retaining our £billions annual rebate and opt outs.
Before May deliberately crashes the U.K. out of the EU when her ‘pay but no say, years more Brexit negotiations’ crap ‘deal’ is rejected.
She now says her faith in God gives her confidence. Planning her excuse for when U.K. industry and commerce is destroyed as a result of any kind of Brexit.
I would laugh at your government, but mine wants to build a $20 billion wall in the desert
Ben – could probably build it for less, but it’s Trump’s wall, so it NEEDS to be gold plated, probably. Maybe with tacky little gold plated lion-feet and a couple of brocade tassels.
$20bn is probably quite cheap, considering.
Nah, build it out of cheese but not the stuff with the ‘oles innit.
Why not build it out of cheese?
It’s a Trump wall, so it’ll cost $5B, he’ll charge you $20B for it, build it with cheap imported labour then declare himself bankrupt so he doesn’t have to pay his workers or suppliers.
I thought Mexico was going to pay for the cheese
Hmm. Let’s buy the blue cheese we need from France.
‘Wouldn’t work very well. All cheese submarines are built using cheddar.
But West Country Farmhouse Cheddar (PDO) is protected by the EU, so that won’t work.
Irish Cheddar?
Canadian Cheddar could do it, too.
Not do funny for those of us living in Europe with our lives uncertain – rich Brits don’t seem to suffer the same concerns
The rich of any country don’t care, because no matter how screwed up the world is, their money allows them to skate right through.
Leslie Lehmann, you completely correct. Money speaks. It is the hard working masses who will suffer. It is the masses who will be called upon, yet again, to defend our shores in times of trouble.
Yes I agree. Italy for me but remain with British passport..am I allowed back to,Uk to visit?.
Rest assured it is not very funny for those of us unfortunate enough not to have got out in time. However, it is very British humour.
Well I guess it would take us back to the good old days when submarines amd cheese were more important than people and the economy.
Unfortunately, it looks as if that is going to happen and the majority of people don’t want it, even if, under the influence if the lies of these scumbags, they thought they did in 2016
Brilliant! I am reminded that ‘BoatyMcBoatface’ had an overwhelming vote in favour but in that case the ‘will of the people’ was overruled on the grounds it would damage the nation’s dignity.
I rest my case
What a load of remoaner Shite. Why is No deal is better than a Bad deal not there.
Because, my little England gammon plank, that’s bollocks too.
And in English? For someone who probably claims to be patriotic you don’t speak English very well at all. I know many migrants who have a much better grasp of the language than you seem to have aquired in all your years here….
Because without a submarine, even a shit cheese one, we all drown, apart from those wealthy individuals with their own breathing apparatus.
Interesting use of gibberish!
John Gregory, tried re-arranging all your words but still can’t make a sentence. Please try harder….
Wow… and they say leavers are all braindead, fact-proof, truth-phobic, illiterate, uneducated, hatemongering, daily-heil-lie-programmed racist bigot scum? I think this guy just disproved that stereotype…
I think you are missing some punctation. And sense.
No he’s just joking
Swiss cheese was used as it was the cheaper option, but with the Gammon pieces to block all the holes.
The rich will make the cheese submarine then fly way to a nicer place and tell the poor that if they work harder, to make the submarine bigger, they could join them in their luxury by sailing there in the giant cheese submarine.
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine..!
I worry not for myself but for my adult sons and grandchildren. Such uncertain waters ahead for them. To add, this country was built on immigration and added to our wonderful culture over the centuries, long may it continue.
Funny but so sad – cheese doesn’t wear well under sea. Really worry for my adult boys and granddaughter.
Hysterical laughter from Spain ??
Will it float?
Who knows , but it’s certain to stink.
Well it’s also made of French cheese and they won’t get anymore French cheese for repairs after brexit
Very good analogy. From the Netherlands: in spite if all, a good 2019 for all UK people. See that you can stay in Europe.
Hmmm, maybe Trump will build our wall out of cheese! Swiss!
I love Hugo. Especially his last tweet
What goes prefect with cheese? Pickle! We never been in a bigger pickle.
I thought the Brexit cheese submarine was a feta compli…..or perhaps the will of the brittle?
Would it be impertinent to say I’m cheesed off?
Hugo, your Mum went to my school! Brexit is the biggest smelly Gorgonzola ever. I hope it sinks.
Thank you all! Especially Hugo. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. I’m watching this play out from a land locked island, Switzerland. Perhaps we could mediate…..
I think you’re missing a small point when you compare brexit with cheese. We all know what cheese is. Cheese is definable, it can be described. Because of this, “Cheese means cheese” actually means something. “Brexit means brexit” makes no sense because “brexit” is not defined. Nobody knows what it is! I can not for the life of me understand why there was a referendum before you knew what you were buying.
You could have said, “let’s find out if the people think we should find out what an exit from EU would look like”. Then, when the deal had been negotiated, you could have asked the people, “should we leave EU on these terms, or stay in?” That’s something that would have made sense. This thing? *shakes head*
It’s been eluding everyone. Brexit is Tixerb
To tix – The act of moving ones body in a rythm similar to that of dancing.
Erb – a popular youtube channel that pits well known characters of real life and fiction in rap battles
Rythmic dance and rap battles by fictional and non fictional characters.
( with credit to the Urban Dictionary )
The cheese submarine was eaten by rats before it could be launched. Boris Johnson, James Dyson & Jacob Rees-mog have all stated that this is fake news & the cheese submarine is sailing around our shores, saving us all from Jonny Foreigner.
Brexit is insane, epic, sick, fun, cool, O.G, funny brilliant, nice, yummy, mad ting, and awesome