8 life lessons we learned from Rambo

After five movies, an animated series, and a Bollywood remake (we’ve all seen that, right?) it’s safe to say Rambo is cemented in our culture.

Sylvester Stallone is now 73, and showing no signs of getting soft. An on-screen body count of 445 (in just the first four movies) is something to write home about. In the first film, it’s one, and in the fourth instalment, it’s 254. That’s a 25300% increase! Following this trend, we could be looking at 700+ stiffs in the latest movie.

But are Rambo movies just mindless bloodshed, or is there something more profound to find upon closer inspection. Let’s explore what we learned from John Rambo.

1 Persevere

You have to face your problems head-on. Let’s say you’re dealing with an evil general who is shooting his pistol at you at close range. There’s no way around it. You have to raise your bow slowly, and shoot an exploding arrow at him. Don’t blink.

2 Take that leap of faith

Sometimes you have to let go of what you have and dive blindly into the woods. It’s hard, but not impossible.

3 Keep your cool

No matter what. Even if some awful communist is torturing you with electricity, you must not show signs of displeasure. In said situation, your best option would be to insult your tormentor in a profane manner, thus throwing him off balance. Then kill everybody.

4 Sometimes violence IS the answer

At some point in life, you might find yourself at peace and living in harmony with the universe. But when you are guiding a bunch of missionaries through the jungle, you better be packing heat. It usually ends in bloodshed.

5 A tool is only as good as the person using it

No one can argue with that. When you know your shit, you can work miracles with the most primitive instruments available. For example, it is entirely possible to kill an entire platoon of heavily armed soldiers with a hunting knife. Ask any pro.

6 The line between right and wrong is blurred

Sometimes, you might find yourself in a situation where the police are hosing you with cold water for no apparent reason. In this scenario, your best bet would be to injure them, then escape into the woods. But don’t kill the cops. They take offence at that sort of thing.

7 Deal with it

Be it a small nuisance, or a significant distraction, deal with it. If you get severely wounded, simply pour some gunpowder into the wound, and light it up. If some nasty bullies are out to get you, then kill them and put an end to the nonsense.

8 Take care of your body

Whether you’re 33 or 73, there is always a chance you’ll end up in the jungle killing bad guys. Whatever your age, it’s always better to be ripped and adequately oiled up so that those tense muscles look super cool.