The way the Slush startup conference brings capital and mindshare to the Helsinki tech startup scene is well established and undisputable. As someone who works for Finnish tech companies, I have nothing but praise for how Slush mixes geeks with business people in different stages of their careers. If you’re into business, you should attend and just feel the magic of Finnish people turning talkative and creative.
At Ink Tank, we’re strictly anti Jante law, which is to say we don’t subscribe to the old Nordic small-town norm that believing in yourself is next to a deadly sin. However, at some point, everything becomes a cliche. For the past couple of years, the media circus around Slush has turned annoying enough to warrant a friendly slap every now and then.
So, we’ll help you navigate the awesomeness of Slush with a guide that points out just how to know you’ve been slurping a bit too much of that sweet, refreshing tech buzz Kool-Aid.
1. You share photos of your Slush ticket on social media
2. You find yourself slipping over-excited words like innovation, growth and opportunity into your daily vocabulary
3. You’ve Airbnb’d your flat and slept on the kitchen floor to be able to afford Slush tickets
4. Yet, you clap your hands unirononically when middle-aged Finnish politicians blow the trickle-down economics dog whistle in Slush keynote speeches
5. You’re pressuring “assets” in the hospitality industry for intel on where Slush speakers and investors are staying
6. You’ve made Twitter lists for stalking said speakers and investors
7. You find yourself asking where a serious business person can get hold of some goddamned cocaine
8. You’ve made up a fake business to pitch at Slush
9. You’ve gone through five iterations of new business cards
10. You’re buying spy gear to better pick up conversations on where to find VIP parties
11. And you’re going to the best VIP afterparty no matter how tired you are
Have more examples of how Slush crazed people might behave a bit silly? Let us know in the comments below!