Flow Festival sign. Photo by Jussi Hellsten.

18 reasons why you shouldn’t bother going to Helsinki’s Flow Festival

Flow Festival sign. Photo by Jussi Hellsten.
Often described in the international press as one of Europe’s best music festivals, you’d think Helsinki’s Flow would be a no-brainer to add your bucket list. However, before you rush to get your last minute ticket of the partially sold out event (August 12-14 this year), you should consider these 18 very important reasons to think again.

 
 

1. The lineup’s not up to much for music nerds

FlowFestival2016

SaturdayFlowFestival16

SundayFlowFestival16

 

 
 

2. And the venue sucks too

 
 




3. Plus, there’s no mud to wallow in

 
 

 4. Which makes the atmosphere terrible

 
 

5. Mainly because nobody goes

 
 

6. Still, the traffic chaos is unimaginable

 
 

7. If you get hungry, there is hardly any food to choose from

Some of the delicious food available at Flow Festival 2016

 
 

8. And there are only a few places to chill

 
 

9. It’s basically a concrete jungle

 
 

10. With some crappy disco lights


 
 




11. And unknown DJs

Flow Festival 2016 DJ lineup, with resident advisor seal of approval

 
 

12. The cool headliners are just lip syncing ripoffs

 
 

13. Groovy live music is extinct in this year’s lineup

 
 

14. The household names are old people with no energy

 
 

15. The acts you haven’t heard on top 40 radio are obviously useless

 
 

16. As if that’s not bad enough, they force feed you art too

 
 

17. Then there are boring free talks

 
 

18. No wonder kids get so moody on Family Sunday

 
 
No, don’t bother with Flow. You’ll hate it. If you still insist on going, check out our Flow survival guide from last year.

Title image by Jussi Hellsten





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