11 effortless self-comforting strategies for Leavers still awaiting Brexit

11 effortless self-comforting strategies for Leavers still awaiting Brexit

Were you a Leave voter? Are you sore about Brexit being put off for months, maybe years, possibly forever? Do not fear. Inspired by a similarly helpful list created for Remainers, we’ve put together 11 top self-comforting strategies to help Quitters deal with their ongoing torment.

1. Call every person who voted Remain a “whiner” and a “loser”, ignoring the fact that democracy isn’t like a game of footy that ends when someone blows a whistle.

2. Claim that the (huge) turnout of 37% of the electorate and 26% of the population is high enough to do what you damn well please right this minute. Brexit means Brexit NOW! Post pictures of crying babies to highlight that it’s not you constantly whining, but all those bad Remainer losers.

3. Make an e-petition demanding that democracy be suspended from June 23rd onwards and we trigger Brexit NOW! We don’t need any more referendums. The result was “right” and so what if Nigel Farage said beforehand, “In a 52% – 48% referendum this would be unfinished business by a long way”. That was before we WON!!

10 top self-comforting strategies for Leavers awaiting Brexit

4.  Get over-excited about the economy, be sure to talk up all the trade deals that we’re going to do and how it will be like having the British Empire all over again, but better because they’ll be no foreigners. Pretend that reading the Daily Mail, Daily Express and The Telegraph, makes you an expert on the currency market and global economics. Ignore data and facts showing the economy is going into recession and blame everything on Remainers for “talking the country down.”

10 top self-comforting strategies for Leavers awaiting Brexit2

5.  Attack the very idea of democracy. Make sure people realise that an advisory referendum is now carved in stone and no vote is ever needed again ever. From now, nobody can ever question anything again because we WON!! (Always write WON!! in capitals with exclamation marks to emphasis we WON!!) because it’s only a good thing when it goes the way we want it to. Elitist “experts”, stupid intellectuals, business leaders and lovey dovey metropolitan types don’t know what’s good for them, but Daily Mail, Daily Express and Telegraph readers most definitely do.

6.  Share memes bashing Remainers, ignoring the unwelcome and uncomfortable realisation that since everyone has realised what an incredible shitstorm we’ve unleashed, all the sane people have had second thoughts.


7. Stomp and shout loudly to anyone who will listen that there will be “riots in the streets” if 26% of the population don’t get their way. Remind people you WON!! Ignore the fact that by far the biggest age groups to vote Leave were the over 50s and over 65s who aren’t renowned for violent protest.

8.  Boldly claim that Scotland will never leave the UK, forgetting a.) they only voted to stay part of the UK to be in the EU b.) 62% voted to Remain. c.) Unless you’re Scottish, it’s none of your business.

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9.  Learn absolutely nothing from the campaign; celebrate the result as though everyone voted exactly like you. Constantly tell people how you WON!! and berate them when they suggest the reason Hitler so loved referendum because they make it so easy to manipulate the population with lies. There’s no way they could possibly backfire.

10. Celebrate the genius of Boris Johnson while really hoping he isn’t actually a secret Remainer who only pretended to want Brexit to become Prime Minister.

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11. When you hear Brexit has been moved again, grab your Union Jack teddy bear, curl up in a ball and cry yourself to sleep while listening to “Rule Britannia”.

22 replies

  1. Lol! I lost it at this bit: “be sure to talk up all the trade deals that we’re going to do and how it will be like having the British Empire all over again, but better because they’ll be no foreigners. Pretend that reading the Daily Mail, Daily Express and The Telegraph, makes you an expert on the currency market and global economics.”

  2. GREAT Britain has become little England. Hardly surprising, with arch Brexiteer Jacob Rees – Mogg , not quite understanding the difference. cIn parliament he once revealed he wasn’t aware that Wales & Scotland had national Anthems, he assumed they all sang God save the Queen. Educated on the playing fields of Eton, but clearly never had a rugby ball in his hands

  3. Love it! I have seen so many of these points made by people who think that they’ve done the decent thing and voted Leave! Most of the points they make are total B…SHIT!!

  4. Loved it!!! Absolutely true yet entertaining at the same time. This sort of thing really gives me hope and cheers me up because even though a terrible wrong has been done, we still think and act sensibly and I feel uplifted just reading this.

  5. “50-65 year olds most likely to have voted Brexit aren’t renowned for rioting….” Brilliant!

    Absolute genius comeback, I wish I’d thought of it.

    • Many over 50s and 65s voted remain and are as angry as anyone else. But also remember the over 65s were young in the 1960s and 70s, the age when demos and protests were quite common; so don’t underestimate us oldies! We’re old hands at protesting.

  6. 12. Post all over on pro-Remain Facebook pages using a freely selected assortment of the following: Bollocks! Losers! Move on! You Lost! Get Over It! Get a Life! Stick ye head up yer arse! F**k off to Europe then!, plus the absolutely mandatory: “It’s DEMOCRACY!”.

  7. You know, what’s sad is that those who voted leave will not look into any of the opposite side’s arguments.

    And the country must know that if it happens and Theresa May pulls the trigger on Article 50, she is doing a fully conscious decision to throw the country down the pan. She warned of the consequences of leaving the EU. If that’s not treason, I don’t know what is.

    • Exactly! She is hell bent on sending us all over the cliffs. & an unelected PM too.!!! What the hell have we let loose?

  8. I have
    No confidence in Teresa May
    zero confidence in Boris Johnson
    David Davis is out of his depth
    Dr Wotsit is precisely that.
    Rees Mogg will not listen to any reasoned argument. Ditto for John Redwood.
    Bill Cash might has well curl up and go to sleep.
    DM DE and DT aside, who never understood the uncoded constitution in the first place the rest of the press have a lot to answer for.
    Theresa May will NEVER win an election on this form. For once, just once, Ed Milliband seems to have brought intelligence to the debate. Much as it pains me to say it. After 50 years of voting blue, this government, hungry for power, listening to nobody is the worst I have ever seen. Those who voted leave and yet do not want to be a single penny worse off better see the reality and smell the coffee. It started, so it will finish. Masterminds.

    • Doubt any of the 27.4million will have the guts or maturity to acknowledge that they’ve been used.
      As Churchill said:
      “The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter”

      Brexit is the best proof of that statement – so far. All future elections are likely to be the popular media conning their readership – again – to deliver for the British elite.

  9. Point 1.When the whistle blows at a football match the result is ACCEPTED. The opposing fans don’t try to intimidate the FA into calling the match void and then want a rematch. Indeed football supporters understand democracy much better than extreme remainers.
    I can imagine a football match with a remain team being so hilarious, they would lose the match and then start protesting on the pitch that they lost, then they would accuse the supporters of the winning side of not understanding the rules of football, finally they would repeated make challenges to the FA about the validity of the match.

    • It is not a Football Match is precisely the point, we had a previous, referendum, which the Right wing press did not accept, so why should people with a mind of their own not carry on the fight to right an idiotic decision which only served the Tory party?

    • The sort of simplistic argument one would expect from one of the 17.4million.
      The Brexit leaders made it clear that a vote to Remain would have been a temporary setback.

      Every single one of the 17.4million are responsible for all the negative effects of Brexit. I hope you’ve got the guts to acknowledge that.

    • Then ,there is another match next week, and so on . So where is the time limit on democracy should we be wise enough,? Every week month year, how often ? Democracy is fluid and everchanging, when we are exposed to facts our minds can change and should be allowed to , like was it a penalty or a foul, play it back and maybe the decision changes

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